Insomnia

Burning questions that render me sleepless:

1. Why do kids eat their buggars? (This is purely rhetorical; I’m sure your refined children wouldn’t think of snacking on their snot anymore that my children would.)

2. Did I remember to defrost the pork for dinner tonight? (No.)

3. Will Dave do a fellowship?

5. Do other moms sleep more than I do?

6. Did I just skip the number 4? (Yes.)

7. Why am I hungry at 4 a.m.?

8. Do we have any chocolate stashed somewhere?

9. Is that how you spell buggar?

10. Where is Madeline? Is she actually still sleeping in her bed? (Feels kind of lonely in this vast king-sized bed without her…)

And perhaps the greatest question of all…

11. Why in God’s name am I not sleeping when the baby is?