To the Grinch who took my box of custom-made Christmas cards delivered from UPS right off my porch, you can steal my holiday packages, but you will not rob me of my good cheer. (I bet you were wishing for something a little more valuable than cards with photos of my kiddos, huh?) And get this, you-cuddly-as-a-cactus-bad-banana-with-a-greasy-black-peel, I ordered another batch of cards and though they’ll be late this year (good thing the official Christmas season lasts through Epiphany) they’ll be delivered to loved ones nonetheless. So take that, you three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.
To the beautiful nine-foot tree we foolishly bought this year and stuffed in the corner of our too-small living room, don’t go falling on us again, okay? Next time you might break kids’ bones and not just ornaments.
To the presents that got doused in water when the aforementioned tree went timber and dumped a half-gallon of its drinking water all over, we don’t care if you’re soggy wet. We’ll still enjoy scraping away the paper paste and discovering the gifts beneath come Christmas morning.
To the Norwegian Lace Cookies I made that are the size of table doilies instead of tea cookies, you taste delicious even if I dropped you on the cookie sheet by the spoonful instead of teaspoonful per the recipe.
To the two string of lights that we always put up outside on our paltry bushes on the tiny strip of land we call our yard (welcome to city living) that refuse to work this year, who needs sparkling lights to be reminded of the real Light of the World?
To the freak breeze (or Ghost of Christmas Past????) that knocked down my beautiful St. Joseph Lladro statue and shattered it into porcelain shards, I know the protector of the Holy Family doesn’t need a statue to be present in my life.
To the stinky economy that’s taking a grip on some of my loved ones, a “little” Christmas doesn’t mean we won’t experience great joy. Besides, maybe we all should have been cutting back a long time ago.
And to my family and friends, near and far, “virtual” and in the flesh, just like the Whos down in Whoville don’t let any Grinch or other Bah Humbuggers out there get you down. And remember the wisdom of Dr. Seuss when the original Grinch had his Christmas epiphany:
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
May the Advent and Christmas season fill your home and your hearts with peace and happiness.