- Our basement flooded. I discovered this when my oldest ran downstairs to start school and shouted, “Mommy, the ceiling is leaking and water is everywhere!”
- The plumber was unable to determine the source of the leak. Ah, charming old houses!
- Because of the flood I had to cancel an afternoon play date with a professor of mine whom I haven’t seen in 10 years.
- Something else sprung a big leak, too. At 4:30 a.m. one early morning my 3-year-old woke me up sopping wet – with pee.
- The same 3-year-old, who rarely has any accidents, also pooped in her panties later that day. Poor thing.
- Poor Mom, too, because not only did I have to eradicate the hazardous waste but when I went downstairs to toss the panties in the wash, I discovered a snake. My husband was not home. I had to get the snake out of our house all by my lonesome. I Crocodile Dundee-ed the thing using a catch-and-release maneuver that involved a broom and a fishing net (and a screech or two).
|Image captured by iPhone clutched in a shaky hand|
- So long as we’re on the subject (of poop, not scary reptiles), my 5-year-old drew a picture of me on the toilet and then loudly said, “Look, Mommy. I drew a picture of you on the potty!” Our windows were opened when her loud voice proudly announced her artistic rendition of yours truly perched on her porcelain throne. And our elderly neighbor gentleman was nearby, sitting outside enjoying a good book and the sunshine. Another thing about charming, old houses is that doors – including the ones to bathrooms – don’t close properly or stay shut.
|Some kids draw portraits of their moms surrounded by flowers; mine depicts me on the potty.|
- Mary Elizabeth has started taking the whole idea of natural beauty into her own hands and loves to smear her breakfast fruit all over her skin and hair.
- I forgot to bring Madeline’s shin guards to her first soccer practice and felt like a total loser mommy.
Other than that it wasn’t a bad week at all.