UPDATE: I just realized an entire paragraph was missing from my post. I have no idea how this happened; it was showing up in my draft but not on the “live” post. When I tried to edit the post in Blogger this afternoon, it wouldn’t let me even open the post until I finally made some HTML tweaks on my iPhone App (I could open the post on it but not on my laptop). But I am a happy mom blogger, so I won’t let this little setback and the fact that my post on intellect and culture and motherhood came off as a bit bird-witted (the irony is not lost on me) get me down! Anyway, it’s fixed now and hopefully makes a bit more sense.
I get wanting to be brainy, but I don’t get the hoards of thinking women who argue that women ought to completely avoid talking about motherhood when we’re not actively engaged in it in order to give us a break. Or, similarly, the arguments that those moms who do talk about mom stuff aren’t as smart as women who discuss more erudite topics.
Moms have a great opportunity to bring culture into their homes, to show their children beautiful pieces of art, to listen to the likes of Mozart (rather than sing-songy kids songs all day), and to read good literature aloud to their children (simple board books are good for babies to chew on, but there are so many great words to feed our own and our children’s mind with).
Karen Andreola, a homeschooling mom, writer, and proponent of Charlotte Mason and her gentle way of learning, coined a phrase “Mother Culture.” She writes in her Pocketful of Pinecones: Nature Study with the Gentle Art of Learning,
“To take part in Mother Culture is to take a little time to keep growing. In as little as fifteen minutes a day, a mother can strengthen her spirit, expand her mind, exercise her creativity, or ponder ideas that will help her in her arduous task as homemaker/home teacher.”
Even when not actively pursuing culture, what some people seem to overlook is that women writers can be intellectual without turning their nose at all things maternal. Raising children is an intellectual pursuit if I step away from myself and what I’m yearning to know long enough and think of all that I must teach my children. (Plus, homeschooling has made me realize how much I’ve forgotten, especially now that we’re studying the ancient world.) Perhaps more importantly, being a parent is a spiritual pursuit. It grows the soul even when my brain feels more like sludge than a hotbed for brilliant ideas. (And, yes, motherhood is Natalie Portman’s most important role.)
Saint Thomas Aquinas wrote that “human reason is very deficient in things concerning God.” Motherhood is from God and this vocation is about bringing forth new life, nurturing that life, and raising children who have eternal value is the greatest of all human accomplishments.
We’re here to serve God and our families and as Betty Duffy so eloquently recently put it,
“Nothing releases you like motherhood, which is why, if my singular long-range goal is to go to Heaven, staying home with these babies has been the best path for me. I could put all my resources towards achieving one big dream or I could be expunged of a thousand little dreams each day and be emptied and ready, even if it feels like I’m treading water and waiting for whatever comes next.
It’s such a beautiful and rare thing to approach someone you love, and find them ready and waiting for you.”
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Stay tuned for Part III. It might be awhile though. I’m planning on kicking off Lent with an Internet/blog fast.
claire says
Well said Kate! There's nothing un-intellectual about motherhood. Raising kids takes intelligence, and having intelligent conversations about parenting philosophies helps us to be better mothers.
Celeste says
Smashing good post, Kate! I can't help but be reminded of Cardinal Mindzenty's words: "What on God's good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?" We mothers are onto something good; indeed, something utterly splendid. To take joy in our vocation as mothers and to share that joy by means of our blogs is not only our desire, but our duty. In a culture that considers motherhood to be a dismal occupation at best, the voices of "happy moms" need to be heard. Blog on, mamas!
Kate Wicker @ Momopoly says
Okay, something is all messed up with Blogger. I just noticed a whole paragraph was missing from my post. Before the "we shared great conversation" this paragraph was supposed to be there: "As a blog author, even when I consciously try to avoid talking about motherhood or my children, it/they inevitably comes up. During my husband and my first real getaway since we became parents back in December, we made a bet to see who could make it the longest without bringing the kids up. I lost, of course. It had been about 10 minutes since we'd made the fun bet when I saw something that I knew my oldest would love. I mentioned this, and we both started laughing. We had great conversation on that trip together, mostly because it was uninterrupted, but we did end up chatting about our kids a lot. That's because this is our life right now. We're in the midst of raising a family. Little girls, averting tantrums, bedtime routines, nursing – this is fodder for our current conversation just as when we were childless and working, we both talked a lot about our jobs, our goals, and yes, those children that we hoped we'd one day have."
It will absolutely not let me add this paragraph or edit the post at this time. And I'm so sick of all the font sizes, etc. changing for no apparent reason. Ugh.
But I am a happy mom blogger and will not let this cause me (much) distress.
Love Cardinal Mindzenty's quote! Amen!
Kate Wicker @ Momopoly says
The post is fixed although the fonts are still all messed up. Ah well. There are definitely far more important things in life.
Thank you, dear readers, for not calling me out on how the post didn't make any sense!
Erica S. says
Excellent post! Thank you.
Domestic Accident says
Awesome post, Kate. No matter what the font, it's a great read.
Darcel @The Mahogany Way says
Great post! I am enjoying this series your doing.
I love my blog. I won't change what I'm doing for anyone. I love sharing the best parts of my life with the world. I love being able to look back through it when I'm having a bad day.
Kristin @ Intrepid Murmurings says
Wow, I love this! I know about the negative or simplistic opinions some folks have about motherhood and being "just" a mom, but I am kind of glad to have avoided the anti-mom bloggers, so far! I have found my blogging style has changed fairly dramatically over time — for awhile it was a lot more raw, negative and more of a "venting" space for me, but now, reflecting my current mood, circumstances & support network, it is much MUCH more positive. I do want to reflect reality and give a balanced picture, but often don't feel like blogging about the negatives anymore for the reasons you describe — my complaints now are so minor in the grand scheme of things!
Thanks for the great post — glad to have found your blog (via the Carnival of Natural Parenting)!
Erin says
I love this. It reminds me of what GK Chesterton said regarding mothers who stay at home to raise their children in What's Wrong with the World… I am not coming up with the exact quote on Google at the moment, but he basically said that it is better to be everything to someone (a mother who teaches her children everything about the world) than to be something specific to everyone (as in a paid job)… he said he'd never pity a mother for the smallness or mundaneness of her task but rather for the largeness of it because it can be difficult and is so very important.
Moms today need to hear about the joys in the seemingly "trivial" tasks in childrearing!
Dreamingaloudnet says
I really like this…I don't share your religious view, but do your mama and intellectual ones!
Tell me, why is your blog the biggest feeder to my Home Birth post – have you got a feed? I'm getting 25 people a day from this URL – v confused cos I can't see any extra links/ recommendations?
Thanks any way!
Kate Wicker @ Momopoly says
Dreamin Aloud, they're probably coming from the Natural Parents Carnival post.
Kara says
Great post Kate!
In my thinking, the blogosphere can be a powerful tool for elevating the status of motherhood in our every-man-for-himself culture.
It's the blogs of faithful women painting a beautiful picture of motherhood (as it indeed should and can be portrayed), that will elevate the position.
Anyway, there are enough haters in the word, right? No need to contribute! :)
Blessings,
Kara