I live in uncertain times (this post has nothing to do with what you might think it does)

On Saturday, I woke up early to drive over an hour to where my little brother and his wife live, so I could support my sister-in-law (who has Type 1 diabetes) in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s Walk to Cure Diabetes. After a week of staying up far too late, the lack of sleep hit me hard and I felt groggy that morning as I cruised along the highway in the early morning darkness. I had the baby and my preschooler with me (the older kids had soccer games and stayed back with my husband) and thankfully got my second wind once we arrived at the event. I throughly enjoyed the walk, the company of my family, including my parents, and the beautiful fall day.

After the event my brother and sister-in-law took us out to lunch. After sliding into a parking space next to my parents’ car in the restaurant parking lot, I opened the automatic sliding doors without really paying attention to the fact that my dad had just opened his car door. I heard a noise and saw him immediately pull his door shut. I quickly hopped out of the van panicking that my van door had put a ding in his (he was in his brand-new ride). Fortunately, no harm was done, so we all went on our merry ways, laughing and chatting as we strolled into the restaurant.

We were there eating and gabbing for about an hour. When it was time to leave, I began digging in my purse to find my van keys. I started cursing myself for not putting the keys on the key hook – something I’d promised I’d always do after locking them in my van after a harrowing trip to the grocery store – but once again my muddled mind and sleep-deprived state had rendered me cerebrally incapacitated. (I almost wrote decapitated. Sometimes I do feel like what I do with my body is completely dissociated from my head.) I didn’t remember where I’d put the keys. Did I even really remember driving to the restaurant? I’m not 100 percent certain. Everything was a bit fuzzy, but it was clear that the keys were not on the hook. Nor could I find them in the bottomless pit that I call a purse/diaper bag.

I walked out to the van with my little ones, my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law’s parents with a bruised ego and slight panic building within. Please don’t tell me I locked my keys in the van again, I prayed.

The good news is I didn’t. I discovered that the van, in fact, was unlocked. But I still couldn’t find the keys. They weren’t in my purse, and I didn’t see them anywhere in the van even after checking near both carseats where my little ones had been sitting. I figured I’d probably set the keys down near one of the carseats while I was unbuckling the kids. Everyone was helping me look in the van, and we were all puzzled wondering how the keys could have – poof! – disappeared (or as my 3-year-old says “pissappeared”).

So here’s the bad news: After several minutes of searching, it was my brother who pointed to a spot near the steering wheel and said, “Um, Katie, the keys are in the ignition.”

Oh, but that’s not all. It gets worse.

Not only were the keys in the ignition, but the van was still running.

We all laughed about how none of noticed the car was on and also gave the van props for running so smoothly and quietly.

I had not only left my keys in an unlocked vehicle, but I had also left it running while we were in a restaurant for an hour.

After I stopped laughing so hard I was crying (and celebrated the fact that I hadn’t peed in my pants from laughing that hard like my baby had done during the walk and no, of course I didn’t bring an extra change of clothes), I joked that I most definitely live in uncertain times. And it has nothing to do with the political climate in this great country of mine.

Now I hope my gaffe and ensuing humiliation makes all of you all feel better about the mindless things you’ve done as a mom.

Enter the Conversation...

12 Responses to “I live in uncertain times (this post has nothing to do with what you might think it does)”
  1. Kris says:

    I liken that to my favorite sleep-deprived “panic” that I ALWAYS have with a new baby. Driving up my street and stopping to check the back seat to make sure I actually put the baby in the car. Every mom with a baby has these stories! And at least no one stole the car…….!

    • I have done that Kris!!! Another time, Lovely cried out from the back “Where is the baby?” which about made me have a wreck. Baby Val was there…still never understood what made her say it so loudly. Maybe a peek a boo game? She was so apologetic.

      Goodness!! LOL!

  2. Jess says:

    oh hon, I don’t mean to laugh, but you have such a way with words! You make even being sleep deprived sound like an adventure :)

    BTW, Jocelyn doesn’t sleep through the night. And we aren’t even nursing anymore :(

  3. Miranda says:

    hahahahaha!! Well, Jon did the same thing. We went into the grocery store (for 2 hours!) and not only did he leave the van running, but we also had the windows down because we had no A/C, AND we were in the middle of Miami….granted….if the van would have gone missing we wouldn’t have been too sad, but it was like we TRIED to get someone to steal it and they wouldn’t!

  4. Lori says:

    LOL I totally know about a head becoming separated from my body! I shut the garage door on the open hatch back of the van and wondered, what’s that weird noise. Then I stopped the opener only to reverse it; no thinking involved there! Now we need a new garage door; I bent it and caused it to jump the tracks. sigh. And my kids were at school so not distracting me. double sigh. I’m glad things worked out well for you!

    • Lori – one day headed to church in our then, new house, I did the same thing. The garage window was perfectly matched with my rearview window so I thought the door was open and I drove on “through” it..a bit. made a hole, broke the garage window, and pretty much took the door off the tracks. Sigh. All I could think was “Dear God, I was coming to see you…why this??!” HAHAHAHA!

  5. Elizabeth says:

    Oh every mom has at least one of these ridiculous stories to tell. Thanks for the laugh! Be careful though…sleep-deprivation (especially when driving) is incredibly dangerous.

  6. I LOVE it. I’m sorry you had to live it in the moment, but the wide lens retelling is great. And, I am so glad no one took the car!!

    I read this last night, and didn’t comment (I’ve gotten “bad” about that), but my morning before 11am made me march over here and give you my love and support LOL!!! Always choose laughter. Love it!


  7. Cindy says:

    Happy no one borrowed your van :0

    I can completely relate…..

    Monday morning my 1st Grader was up every hour on the hour (3AM-8AM) bravely suffering from the stomach flu.

    There was no time to find a sub to teach my 9AM Aqua Fitness class, so after I dropped off my Kindergartner, I rushed to teach my 9AM class (grandma stayed with my 1st grader).

    I remembered to wear the top (tanktop-type) portion of my bathing suit; however, due to sleep deprivation, I forgot to wear my bathing suit shorts!

    It was freezing & I arrived at the Pool wearing super warm sweats. I normally teach in the Pool; however, due to the circumstances (& strict no-skinny dipping rule), I was forced to teach from the deck.

    Luckily, a kind participant allowed me to borrow a pair of yoga capris she had in her gym bag…..otherwise, I would have suffered a heat stroke.

    Sleep deprivation causes silly situations.

  8. Barbara says:

    Don’t feel badly. My mother did the same thing and she gets a full 8 hours at night. She also has less of a senior brain than I do. She only noticed because she checked to make sure she had her keys BEFORE we went into the restaurant. And she only was able to do that because she wasn’t holding a toddler’s hand!

    Your brother must be in a safe city!


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