Hello there! So, I have a segment on The Busted Halo Show scheduled to air on St. Patrick’s Day, and I broke a record for the broadcast. I used the word “poop” more than any other guest. Hold on while I add that to my LinkedIn profile.
I also had my monthly segment on the Morning Air Show, and we talked about my personal “getting past perfect” moments, and I had an endless supply of fodder such as the time, unbeknownst to me, my son was pooping out in our front yard. When nature calls, take it out to nature.
Or the day when a new neighbor and I met for the first time because she discovered my dog “babysitting” my 3-year-old as they strolled down the street. Nice to meet you. My name is Katie Wicker, and I have a newborn and am clearly overwhelmed. Thanks for finding my runaway. No, I didn’t even know she or the dog were MIA. I thought they were playing happily in the backyard and didn’t realize they’d pulled a Houdini on me.
I also shared about the time I left my little boy with a strawberry smoothie (rookie mistake; he was my first boy and I didn’t know yet how he would delight in messes even more so than little girls) and when I popped back into the kitchen, it looked like a crime scene. The picture doesn’t do the mess any justice. He somehow managed to sling smoothie on the ceiling as well. At the time, I cried and took a photo in order to text-vent to my husband. Woe is me. Look at what I have deal with while you’re all busy saving lives and stuff. Now I’m so grateful I have the photo because it makes me laugh. He’s so pleased with himself.
Then I mentioned the birthday cake I made for Rachel’s winter-in-June-party. I was going for an Olaf look. What I got was a serial killer. Rachel told me later that the cake was delicious but a little scary. But I owned it.
Recently, I sent my poor husband to the wrong location to pick up a child who had a sports game. My calendar had the location right; my mommy brain mush did not.
Frankly, if that had happened only a few years ago, I would have beat myself up and would have had a hard time letting the mental gaffe go. But I’ve come a long way. I profusely apologized to my dear husband, and then I cut myself some slack. He was great and even pointed out that he should have checked the master control center I so meticulously keep organized. And now we laugh about it – how he showed up to a completely vacant, dark gym 30 minutes away from where our daughter actually was.
In fact, so many of our family’s most vivid and best memories are the times when we didn’t get it perfect – or anywhere close to it. The messiness usually ends up producing some of the funniest recollections. And even the more serious messes like illness or when I lose my cool as a mom or a sibling hurts another sibling – it’s in their aftermath when grace and mercy most freely flow. I’ve given my kids the gift of imperfection. They look at Mom with relief because they can say, “Whew. She’s not perfect, so I don’t have to be either!”
This doesn’t mean we aren’t all working harder toward self-improvement and striving for excellence, but we don’t set perfect as the bar.
Perfect love drives out fear.
1 John 4:18
Before I could call myself a “recovering perfectionist” I believed this verse meant that I had to deliver perfect love in order to free myself and my family from fear and anxiety. In my spiritual maturity and as I’ve grown into my mothering shoes, I realize I had it all wrong. My love isn’t perfect, but imperfect love is still love. What crowds out the fear and helps me rise and meet the many challenges of motherhood and of life is to focus on God’s perfect love. That’s where the peace rests – in Him and only Him.
So there’s your pep talk for the day. Now for some exciting news.
Dear moms, are you ready to strip away the shiny patina of motherhood and stop always glossing over the hard parts? Is your life full and fun but also messy and, at times, overwhelming? Are your days not always (ever?) Pinterest-worthy? Are you hungry for imperfect authenticity – the real, uncut, unscripted, and unfiltered version of motherhood?
Yes? Well, then it’s time jump on the #gettingpastperfect social media bandwagon! In honor of the release of Getting Past Perfect: Finding Joy & Grace in the Messiness of Motherhood, I’m launching a social media campaign starting on Monday, March 20th.
Here’s how to participate and to be entered in a chance to win some great prizes (listed down below):
By sharing your own “gettingpastperfect glimpses on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram (there are probably other social medias this uncool mom doesn’t know about), you’ll have a chance to win some great prizes, including a signed copy of Getting Past Perfect and a few of “Kate’s Favorite Things” (thanks to my friend Katie for the idea!):
- These lovely earrings, which I also have and love, donated from my friend Lyndie and the Noonday Collection. Be sure to check out Lyndie’s ambassador page for more bling. Noonday Collection is a wonderful business that partners with talented artisan entrepreneurs to make a difference in some of the world’s most vulnerable communities.
- A $50 Stitch Fix gift card. I receive Stitch Fix shipments about four times a year, and I have loved the service. I’ve only had two disappointing fixes and both times I reached out to Customer Service, and they were wonderful, responded promptly, and waived my styling fee. I highly recommend the service for anyone who doesn’t have as much time to shop and/or wants to revamp their wardrobe. (Full disclosure: If you sign up and use my referral page, I get a $25 credit, which translates to free clothes! Woot!) I also find that SF is great for people on a budget because you can budget how much you’re going to spend quarterly or monthly or whatever and then stick to it when your shipment arrives. I’ve also found that SF has helped me to think outside of my closet. I’ve received a few pieces I never would have personally picked out but when I tried them on, I loved them!
- A $15 Starbucks gift card. I love coffee a latte, (sorry – #nerdybynature) but I couldn’t stomach coffee during this past pregnancy because I was so sick. I believe I am one of the few freaks of nature who is actually plumping up more postpartum than I did while pregnant. I’m back to my morning coffee routine. I froth a little milk with this beloved gadget, and then I usually sit down with my cup of joe, nurse Charlie (I make my coffee using half decaf and half regular), and write and/or pray. Currently, I’m loving spending my mornings with God using the Blessed Is She Lenten Devotional. I’ll be buying one of these every year from now on.
If you’re anything like me, then you’re grateful for imperfect authenticity. Instead of being rejected and isolated—what I fear might happen if I put my imperfect self out there—I’m validated when I admit how hard mothering can be not just for me but for all of us. When we let our guard down and stop trying to hide behind a fake façade, others can see us for who we really are.
Just a small sampling of some of my #gettingpastperfect moments:
My birthday celebration a few years back.
One of my daughters gave her doll leprosy.
Thomas the Terror is most definitely screaming for ice cream.
Remember that time Gaba and Papa planned a four-day trip to paradise, and M.E. came down with a stomach bug that caused her to hurl all nightlong a la Drew Barrymore here and be reduced to a mummy the next morning? Two other kids came down with it, but thankfully didn’t throw up as much as their sister. Then your sister-in-law ended up in the hospital with the same bug, and your dad was sick with it as well and had a sore core the next morning, and you joked with him that that was the best ab workout he’d had in years? I certainly remember it.
I don’t mean to pick on poor Thomas, but he’s just so expressive. Here’s a snapshot from another fun and exciting vacay! Yay! Life is wonderful!
Let’s get real, Moms! I can’t wait!