I’ve done it again. I’ve let that nasty thing called pride rob me of my serenity. I don’t want to bore you with all the, well, boring details of my little sob story, but I recently found myself crying in my bed all because of a bruised ego.
My husband came to my side and tried to comfort me, but it was useless. The tears wouldn’t stop. It was embarrassing, really. Not that it’s the first time I’ve ever cried me (or my poor husband) a river.
Get a grip, Katie! (My little voice in my head always calls me Katie.)
While I was weeping, I kept hearing another voice in my head (not sure if it was referring to me as Kate or Katie, but that’s an unimportant detail), telling me that I’ve got to stop trying to excel in all areas of my life. Mrs. Ambition needs to get lost because Mrs. Wife-Mom is kind of busy at the moment and has got her (tired) hands full.
Mrs. Ambition – the one who wants to write like 17 books, be an all-star blogger, a parenting columnist, a speaker, an inspiring writing teacher, an organized homeschooler, a great humanitarian, etc., etc. – is welcome to stay in the wings and wait. We’ll give you a call once the kids are accounted for, alrighty?
Just don’t hold your breath, Mrs. Ambition, because we may never make that call, and that’s okay, too. I mean, am I in the business of nurturing souls or not? Because if I am, then that’s all I ever have to do with my life. Repeat after me: Raising children and nurturing their souls for Christ is all you ever have to do with your life. (This goes for you too, Mom Who’s Reading My Blog.) Zip, nada, nothing more. You got it? It’s time to stop worrying about all this extraneous rubbish and accept that being “just” a mom is enough. More than enough.
In her book Raising Up Mommy: Virtues for Difficult Mothering Moments, Heidi Hess Saxton reminds us that humility is the perfect antidote for pride. What’s more, “hiddeness” is the feminine face of humility.
What exactly is hiddennes? It’s a life “Of detachment. Of relinquishment. Of humility. It is the way of the cross, the way of self-donation,” Heidi writes.
It’s a life out of the limelight that no one may ever notice – not now anyway. I may not contribute to the GDP, have a best-selling novel, professional accolades, or invitations to speak, guest blog, and/or inspire. But I do have the chance to nurture souls for eternity. That’s powerful stuff. Raising children, concentrating on my most important “works in progress” may not garner me much attention now, but just think of the accolades I just might receive in heaven!
Alice Von Hildebrand perhaps says it best in her compelling book The Privilege of Being a Woman when she writes:
- “All human accomplishments will be reduced to a pile of ashes. But every single child to whom a woman has given birth will live forever, for he has been given an immortal soul made to God’s image and likeness. In this light, the assertion…that ‘women produce nothing’ becomes particularly ludicrous.”
Thank you, God, for the precious “goods” you’ve helped me to produce so far. Help me to remember that being their mother and being a wife to my husband is always, always enough.
Amen!
Thank you, Kate. I SO needed to hear this today.
Come to think of it, I just might need to read this again tomorrow.
And the next day.
And the next…
:)
Wow! I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a few weeks, and this post really got me! I feel like you were writing for me, lol. I’ve been struggling with being everything for everyone and the fact that I don’t seem “good enough” to some people because I don’t desire to become something more than I am, a stay at home mom and wife. This reassured me and made me realize this is where I am supposed to be and I’m not here to please them, I’m here for my hubby and boys because that’s where the Lord wants me!
Once again you’ve done it! You’ve written the perfect blog spot for mothers everywhere! Thank you! :-)
Kate,
I just found your blog through Writers Weekly. I LOVE this post. You are speaking my language. I am perpetually struggling between being wife/mom and all that entails and getting “it all” accomplished.
Thanks for steering me back to what matters most.
Your kids are beautiful.
As a new mom and newly out of the work force this really hit me. I never had the desire to have a career – I always wanted to be a sahm. But now that I’m here I’m really struggling, ashamed that I have done nothing with my life. I’m trying to convince myself that I like what I’ve done and what I’m doing and the rest of the world doesn’t matter, but instead I’m learning just how proud and selfish I am.
Yes! I wish more people would “proclaim” what you said – that being a mother and wife IS ENOUGH… It’s huge! I am so sick of the lack of support for us, even from good people. Like when they ask me “what’s your professional background?” and I feel like I have to talk about my “Mrs. Ambition” stuff. No – the most important, most accomplished part of me is my wife/motherhood. I am a professional mother.
I came across your blog through CatholicMom … The Lord must have sent me your way because I could have SO written that entry. Mrs. Ambition likes to beat the snot out of me when my defenses are down … but I know, I know, I know that my vocation entails my family and children FIRST.
Sometimes, Mrs. Ambition holds me hostage, and the children are neglected while I scribble in my notebooks.
But thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone and that, through prayer, Mrs. Ambition can be kept away from my house.
Peace!
And with that, dear Kate, you have not only (once again!) said just what I needed to read today, but you have capped it off and inspired me to just turn off the puter. Be done with the day. (Dare I suggest that I go (gasp) read a book???)
Hugs, big big BIG hugs. :)
I just stumbled upon your blog, and I can’t tell you what an encouragement this was for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this… I truly think you were an answer to prayer today!