…for humoring me and for putting up with my ridiculously self-absorbed, sleepless-in-Georgia post. I know I recently wrote about not comparing crosses, but when I have a cousin with leukemia fighting for his life, a friend who just lost someone important to her family to suicide, other friends who are suffering the loss of a miscarriage, and all the other problems in the world, I admit I’m a little ashamed of my woe-is-me griping about a dearth of sleep.
And a big part of the problem is me and my unwillingness to rest in God and to stop pushing myself (and sometimes my kids) so hard. As my husband gently reminded me, I have the tendency to stay up way too late and to try and do way too much. “You know you sometimes have insomnia, so you’ve got to go to bed earlier.”
Sigh. He’s right. Again.
When I perpetually delay my own bedtime, I find that my physical, emotional, and spiritual health suffer. The bottom line is if I fail to make sleep more of a priority, I’m not only apt to feel lousy and on edge, but how can I really expect to begin to rest in Him if I’m not resting at all? Sleep deprivation is a vicious cycle, but it’s one I do have some control in breaking.
I’m the adult here – the one who’s not supposed to be fighting sleep.
So into bed I go, and tomorrow I’ll start anew and tank up on Christ, trusting that He will give me all the graces and patience I need to be the peaceful heart of my home.
You’re not self-absorbed. You’re a mom with little ones. It’s hard to do it with out a little complaining here and there! :-)
And I do the same thing with delaying sleep and then being tired. It is my own fault. But then again sometimes delaying my bedtime is the only way for me to get some alone time. That’s important, too!
Balance is the key, but it isn’t easy! :-)
Plus, if you get to bed a little earlier, than when you have someone waking up at 3:00 in the morning, at least you’ve gotten a few hours under your belt. Makes a difference in how you can handle the middle of the night stuff!! We’re all guilty of trying to get stuff done at night!
I’m still saying some prayers for you. I read your post the other day and it could have been ME writing it — our 4yo insomniac has been hard at work with the Momdar (great word, btw) getting up at 4:30-5:00 WITH me. And I’m not doing so well letting it rest in God. Hang in there, my friend!
Nothing wears me down faster than sleep deprivation. It’s hard to keep your spirits up that way. If I could offer one tidbit of advice (as a parent of a child that did not sleep through the night til the age of 3) … consistency. Seriously. It makes all the difference in the world.
I know I say this from waaay over here, and it’s very different from where you are, but it sounds to me like you might be letting them have too much control of the bedtime situation. You’re the boss. Bedtime is what you say it is. Whatever you decide to about the sleeping arrangements, stick with it. It may get worse before it gets better, but they’re looking to you for comfort (aka consistency). If they sense that you’re not sure of the situation, why should they be?
Anyway, hope it wasn’t unwelcome advice. And, of course, I always have more if you want it … ;)