I’ve combed through the comments following this column I recently wrote on why I believe young children belong at Mass, and I have so much I’d like to write in response but alas, I’m really, really working on limiting my screen time and only tackling absolutely necessary tasks right now. (Pray for me, won’t you? Letting things go and savoring the “now” is so very difficult for me.)
But there’s one point I feel compelled to make. Several people brought up the issue of distractions in general. I’ve thought about this topic plenty because I think most Christians struggle with being distracted from the Lord from time to time whether they’re worshipping or not.
I know I do. During Mass my own children frequently distract me (partly because I’m trying so hard – perhaps too hard – to keep them in line out of fear that someone will shoot us a nasty look); however, I’ve been distracted by other things, too. A tone-deaf singer. The whooshing of an oxygen tank. I’ve been to celebrations where my mind starts to wander when a priest gives a long, rambling Homily, or I’ve cringed when an organist hits the wrong note. It’s during times like these – when I’m not fully present – that I remind myself that these so-called distractions really aren’t the problem. The problem is me and my own failure to focus on Christ’s sacrificial love.
So how do I stay focused and take these distractions and sanctify them in some small way? It’s simple really. I consider whatever is distracting me and I turn it into a prayer just as St. Therese of Lisieux learned to do. She once said, “I have many distractions, but as soon as I am aware of them, I pray for those people, the thought of whom is diverting my attention. In this way they reap the benefit of my distraction.”
I ask the same of anyone who sees children as nothing more than insufferable distractions during Mass or other worship services. If we happen to notice a toddler pinching his baby sister or a mother endlessly rocking a fussy baby in church, let us rejoice that they have overcome the obstacles to get there (and believe me, getting a house full of little ones out the door and to church is no easy undertaking). If we see a child misbehaving, let us pray for grace for the parents of the defiant child (and let us remember that everyone has bad days; a child who is behaving obnoxiously may be just having an off moment). Or if a teenager wearing an inappropriate outfit catches our eye, let us pray God will touch this young person and reveal his love to her so that she (or he) won’t need to use her (his) body to attract attention. Let us not be distracted from our worship but instead may we reserve our judgment and instead pray for the very people who seem to be pulling us away from Christ.
Wonderful post, as usual. Holding you in prayer.
Great post, Kate! Praying for those who distract us is such a beautiful idea!
I'd also like to add that when I'm feeling distracted, I try to remember that my first priority should be how I am attending to Mass — not how other people aren't. "Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?" (Mt 7:3) is a powerful verse for me! So often the things that bother me about others are things I need to work on myself, first.
I've seen people at Mass who really seem connected to what's going on, who don't seem distracted like I usually am (and perhaps "seem" is the key word), and I've often marveled at their willpower — they seem to have figured out how to block things out. I'm sure a lot of prayer, for ourselves and others, goes into acquiring such a skill!
Kate, I just love your writing. My Church is amazing about this subject. Right in the hymnal there is a note from the pastor that reads something like this,
' To all parents with small children, welcome. If at any point your child is making noise please know that the rest of the parish is looking at you only in admiration for being so pro-life. We are a pro-life parish and all children are welcome here'.
Seriously, it is awesome. The other day a young dad chased his young toddler up the aisle twice. He was beyond embarrassed until the priest commented from the pulpit, in front of everyone, that we are a pro-life parish and they are welcomed here! And there is no cry room at this church!
It was amazing. So many times I am trying with all my might to just get my three year old to sit still and be quiet…. But at this parish I am able to calmly teach her how to behave in Church with out being stuffed in a little room with too many other kids who are basically having a playdate! I am all for having kids in Mass so they can learn what it means to be a part of a community of believers. Would you mind if I highlight your column in my blog? This is such a great topic. -Tara
AMEN!
If you were here, I'd throw my arms around you and HUG the STUFFING out of you for that.
One thing I have noticed is that sometimes I am more distracted when the children are not with me and it is b/c I am thinking of everything else b/c I can. One way I try to control distractions is by offering each part of mass for an intention as in singing the Gloria for mother, consecration for suffering souls, praying the Our Father for vocations to priesthood etc. I dedicate to be fully present for the specific intention. Thanks for the post.
Your article and this post are both appreciated by me! I'm not quite sure what to expect from my 13 month old, who walks, talks, smiles, and gets very upset when she's not allowed to move around a bit. I try to focus her on the Mass, point out Father, whisper prayers in her ears, tell her that the elevated host is Jesus, etc but just last week I had to hold her upside down to keep her quiet during the consecration.
So, what should I expect from my daughter? At what point can a toddler sit through Mass? Also, any tips since in a couple of months I'll have a newborn and a toddler?
Also, my daughter has a tendency to rip paper books – which are the only kind of religious books we have. Do you know of any good board books with flaps, or textures, or at least great pictures since she loves books and it's the best way to keep her quiet during Mass?
Bonnie, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond! I'm actually working on a follow-up article for Faith & Family LIVE! that will include tips for getting little ones to get more out of Mass. Stay tuned… and in the meantime, keep bringing your little one to our Lord. He wants her there!!!
God bless you.