It wasn’t supposed to happen. I’d been strong for so long. I’d resisted him. For nearly five years, I’d kept him out of my home, out of my children’s lives. But one moment of weakness, and now our lives are forever changed.
It wasn’t all my fault. Really. I thought the curious monkey was supposed to be around, but it was this guy instead, and I caved in to my child’s pleas to see more of him. Now she’s infatuated. There’s little, if any, hope of taking her back now. He’s like preschooler crack, and she is a happy addict.
Of course, even when he was only lurking in the shadows (or the quick promotional spots on public television), I could not shield my firstborn completely. Somehow she still knew his name and the features of his large face. I don’t know how. I thought I’d made her impervious to his charm, but I was wrong. Very wrong.
Why, then, was I so surprised when she caught a glimpse of him the other day and begged to be able to see more of him?
“Why?” I asked.
“I love him,” she explained. I flinched. When did this happen? How could I be so blind? So naive? Love him? How can you love someone you don’t even know?
“Why don’t you like him, Mommy?” she asks. He really has her, I realize. He’s captured my 4-year-old’s heart.
I have no real answer. It’s a fair question, I suppose. I should have to explain my intolerance. Why am I not more open-minded?
“I just don’t like him,” I hear myself saying.
What kind of lessons am I teaching my child by snubbing the object of her affection just because he’s different than us and sickeningly saccharine sweet? I just don’t believe he’s being completely sincere. Does the guy ever have a bad day?
He’s definitely too old for her. Not to mention, too reptilian. And that voice of his. It’s annoyingly nasal. And his eggplant-purple skin and that plastered on smile and those perfect, gleaming white teeth (those have to be caps).
Oh, but Madeline has fallen hard for his timeless allure. (I mean, isn’t his kind supposed to be extinct?)
“I love Barney,” she says, eyes glazed over, face flushed with the fervor of young love.
Resist his dinosaur charm! I want to scream, but it’s too late. From her dazed expression and the dreamy tone of her voice, I know she means it. He’s singing that ridiculous song, and she’s buying it.
But I’m not. Not for a second.
“I love you, you love…”
Oh, but I don’t. Yours is an unrequited love. It always has been, and it always will be.
When I worked for a daycare back in 1998, there was an 18-month old in the toddler room that was not allowed to come in contact with anything Barney. We couldn't ready Barney books to the class. We didn't allow any toys or Barney stuffed animals.
And I couldn't help thinking that one mom's dislike for something infringed terribly on every other child's opportunity to like him in the daycare room.
Luckily, the kids were too little to understand :)
For me, its Calliou. I cannot stand Calliou.
Hee, hee!! Too funny. He is pre-school crack. But there is hope – all of my older kids have LOVED Barney at one time or another. But they outgrew it. And now the two little guys don't even really know him that well. She'll get over this and move on – to something equally as annoying!!
Yes! What kris said.
Also: are you familiar with the BOZ movies/books? SO much better than Barney. Same nasal voice. But at least some substance!
My 4 year old first encountered Barney at Chuck e Cheese's where the big guy was riding shotgun in a yellow car. My son hopped in, looked at Barney and asked, "What's that?" "Well, um, that's a big purple dinosaur." I answered. "He scares me." he said, as he hopped off & went looking for a safer ride.
Yeah, me too!!
I actually don't mind Barney. Now if you speak about Big Bird, I just cannot stand him.
I have an award for you at my blog.
Therese
This post made me smile!
Before I had children, I swore they would never watch Barney. Then I actually HAD children, and poof, that promise went out the window!!
Fear not…this too shall pass. My older ones loved watching it and now they can't stand it.
It can be extremely annoying to a parent, but for some reason the little ones love it. I think it is the singing. It is amazing what kids will do if you put the words to song!
Hang tough! I have boys and am constantly bombarded with Star Wars, Star Trek, and John Wayne right now!! (I'd much rather watch HGTV, but for some reason the men in my house don't agree!!)
:-)
I don't think parental dislike of Barney is some style thing. There's a reason he makes us uncomfortable. Pay attention to the little kids on the show — do you really want your kids to behave in that pretentious, adult-mimicing, metrosexual manner? How about the songs — ever notice they are all the old nursery songs with new words? Plagiarism they can wait until college to learn. And I hate that instead of singing, "This old man, he played one" my kid might learn to sing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" which, I'm sorry, is a song full of teaching tolerance for the idea that a family consists of any two people that love each other.
That's not to say I'd call CPS on any mom that lets her kid watch it, but I have to wonder, if most moms hate the thought and most moms give in to it, what exactly does that say about the modern woman's trust in her own instincts? I think the loss of women's ability to think for themselves is a sadder one than the loss a few kids may experience because some nutter mom dared to not let them watch Barney in daycare. And I don't think the message that mommy dislikes people who are different from her is the one you should guard against here, but the message that mommy feels strongly that something is wrong to consume but if all her peers and all your peers are doing it, we'll do it too.
I know, bummer comment. Feel free to take it out if you want to keep this light, no hard feelings at all.
I guess I should have gone with the short version on that one.
Trust your instincts.
Oh, Barney is just so alluring to a certain age that it's really bizarre. We've been trying to avoid him after having his songs burned into our brains by our niece's infatuation. But he's insidious and just lurking and waiting to pounce. Barney isn't the worst part — I agree with Marie that it's the creepy smiling child actors. Ack!