Randomness

I haven’t had the time or even really the desire to flesh out any great thoughts lately. So in a lieu of a more meaningful post, I’m just going to share some random glimpses into our life lately. I might start doing this more often, actually, even when it’s not 7 Quick Takes Friday. It’s fun and brainless.

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I’ve started nursing Mary Elizabeth again. We had to quickly call our nursing relationship quits when I was faced with the threat of preterm labor and was put on bed rest at 29 weeks. But not a day went by when my sweet girl didn’t ask for a “little bit of mama’s milk.” It was heartrending to have to turn her down over and over again. She’d try to be brave, but sometimes tears would begin to pool in her earthy eyes until the tears overflowed and silently trailed down her face. Other times she’d just completely lose it, and I’d be tempted to break down, too.

When we hit the important (and miraculous!) 37-week milestone and she asked for mama’s milk, I decided to oblige. She’s been nursing a few times a day ever since. There’s nothing but colostrum slowly leaking out, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

The other day her teeth got in the way, and I said, “Ouch! You have to be careful. You bit me.”

“No bite you,” she said, “I just drinkin’.”

I then asked her what it tasted like. “Ummmmm,” she said. Then her eyes grew wide. “Strawberry milk!”

It seems mama’s milk is still the sweet stuff for my little girl even if it’s not really milk at all anymore.

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Madeline was recently reading aloud to me when she came to word that she thought she should know, but she was having trouble saying it. “Hold on, Mommy,” she said. “I have to organize my brain file.”

I totally get that. I’ve been so distracted by the weirdness of this pregnancy that my mind feels completely discombulated, and I sometimes feel like I just need to declutter it and get things organized so I can think straight again!

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My husband was putting Rachel to sleep and asked her if he was her favorite daddy.

She replied, “You’re my favorite man.”

After a brief pause, she added, “But don’t tell Pop or Papa.”

I think her granddads will understand her slight favoritism.

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You’d think that since over two months ago we were told birth was imminent we’d have several solid names selected for this baby. Not so. My husband and I are having such a hard time coming up with the right moniker, especially when it comes to boy names. We thought we had a boy name we liked, but then we both decided last week it wasn’t a good fit. We have a few girl names we like but nothing that seems perfect. We may just have to see this little one to help us decide.

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I’ve been waking up around 3 or 4 a.m. every day either having contractions, dealing with diarrhea, and/or feeling nauseous. I can’t get back to sleep and always end up feeling fine by the time breakfast rolls around. While I’ve enjoyed the quiet mornings of solitude, I crash in the afternoon because I’m so exhausted. Then I start to panic, thinking of how I’m going to handle a nocturnal nursling, homeschooling, and tending to the needs of all these little ones, especially when they’re acting as cranky as I am.

Then I take a deep breath and pray for God’s grace because without it, there’s no way I’ll be able to make it through a long, exhausting day in the trenches.

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I don’t think I’ve shared one single photo of my pregnancy bump. (I’ve always been shy about having my pregnant form photographed.) However, this photo has become a favorite of mine. Madeline captured the precious moment during my final week of bed rest just before 36 weeks. I’m napping with my two “babies.” Sweet Mary Elizabeth fell asleep resting on top of her little brother or sister while using my swollen belly as a pillow.

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Now we wait. My husband’s work schedule is really bad this week, so there’s a chance he’d miss the birth if I went into labor. This pregnancy has certainly taught me to relinquish control, to trust, and to be patient.