My husband and I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. In some ways, ten years seems like a long time – like forever ago. (We’re official card-carrying members of the Old, Married Fart Club right about now.) But in others, it seems like just yesterday that he was courting me, his tall frame making me feel small and safe.
Not long ago we were walking together when we rounded a corner and turned onto a sidewalk that ran parallel to a busy street. A flurry of words were coming out of my mouth, and I wasn’t really paying much attention to my surroundings. I was walking on the outside, closer to the passing traffic. Without saying a word my husband gently placed his hand on the small of my back and eased me to his inside so he was the one nearest to the street.
I kept talking. He kept listening. But my heart hitched, and his act did not go unnoticed. This is something my husband has always done. He never lets me be the one closest to the street.
There have been plenty of times when I didn’t pay much attention to how he subtly shifted to the other side of me. Sometimes I did, but I would mentally roll my eyes, failing to see the simple gesture for what it was: A sign of his love, a sign that he wants to protect me and keep me safe, a sign that he would give his life for me if he had to, a sign that I am his beloved.
My husband has a strong protector instinct. Our basement is stocked with military MREs (meals-ready-to-eat). He has packed solar blankets into each of our cars. He saves and plans for a rainy or scary day. I used to tease him for being so prepared and cautious. I tend to be someone who frets over the small stuff but I’m rather nonchalant when it comes to big things – like apocalyptic disasters or getting run over by a passing car. But I don’t tease him any longer. I love that he wants to keep his family safe, keep me safe. I love the big and small acts he does that show how he’s watching out for me.
There’s a difference between chivalry and chauvinism. My husband wants to protect me not because he sees me as weak or incapable of taking care of myself but because he cherishes me.
Ten years ago we danced our first dance to Ben Harper’s “Beloved.”
It seemed like an awkwardly long song for my poor husband to dance to with his new bride because if there’s anything he doesn’t like, it’s being the center of attention. But the song’s lyrics were true then as we began this journey into marriage. As we danced, I felt like his beloved one.
I still do.
Your eyes shine through me.
You are so divine to me.
Your heart has a home in mine.
We won’t have to say a word.
With a touch all shall be heard.
That’s it. With one simple touch, his shielding body taking the place of my own on a casual walk to dinner, I know how much this man loves and honors me.
*And if and when he reads this, my wonderful, private man will turn slightly pink, and then he will start gagging and doing enough eye-rolling for the both of us, but he will humor me and laugh with me and love me, and I’ll feel beloved all over again.
We just celebrated our ten year anniversary too (May 17th). And my hubby does the same thing whenever we walk. He also has ALWAYS let me receive Jesus in the Eucharist first. It’s these small simple tokens of love that make me so happy :) We are very blessed women indeed!!
So sweet! Congratulations!
My husband does all those things, too. And I love it. And we teach our boys to treat women that way also. Those girls who poo-pooh those acts of chivalry as old-fashioned or chauvanistic have no idea what they are missing.
Hm. I think I’d opt for some of the freeze-dried backpacking food over MREs. Although I think the MREs contain toilet paper, too. :)
My husband walks to the outside, too. His mom taught him that.
Michelle Reitemeyer recently posted…The Speaker Has the Floor
We have a bunch of the freeze-dried camping stuff, too. And rope and water and an emergency surgical kit and…
Kate Wicker recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: First birthday for Alrik!
Emergency surgical kit? Now that’s being prepared!
Michelle Reitemeyer recently posted…37 Weeks
We have an entire bookshelf devoted to survival if you’re interested in adding a few titles to your home library. :-)
We have the Army Survival Manual and the Scout Platoon Leader Handbook, not to mention all the Boy Scout material and know-how. I made my boys do the Wilderness Survival merit badge – for my benefit, not theirs.
Michelle Reitemeyer recently posted…37 Weeks
I would imagine you’re far better prepared than us because of your husband’s know-how. Dave loves to research things and for awhile his topic was survival. Earlier this year it was extreme retirement, but he wasn’t a big fan of eating bean- based dishes, so we decided we could be financially prudent without being extreme. :-). One of Dave’s favorite survival books is Emergency War Surgery. Other titles include: SAS Survival Handbook, When All Hell Breaks Loose, and The Truth About Self Protection among others.
We’ll be good in the event of a zombie apocalypse…he’s got great tactical skill. But other than our camping equipment, we don’t have a stock of food or water or other necessities (ok, our imminent move has had me using up our usual pantry items and jugs of water). In the event of a societal collapse (much less likely than a hurricane), those who have experience killing, cleaning and cooking animals – whether hunters or domestic homesteaders – will probably do better than my family. Did I blog about throwing up after cleaning fish? Pathetic. I need me a good grocery store. My husband desperately wants to fill in the gaps of his manly education and go hunting, but he has never had an experienced hunter offer to take him at the same time that he’s had time to go.
michelle reitemeyer recently posted…37 Weeks
Love the PopEye arms on Daddy and the flowing hair and what looks like asecond trimester tummy on Mommy.
Happy Anniversary.Watch the decades start to fly by.
Happy Anniversary!!
What a wonderful post about a wonderful relationship, your family is truly Blessed. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your family and your writing always touch me.
Patricia recently posted…Living The Aware Life
Congratulations on ten years! It really is the little, quiet gestures that make us feel the most loved, isn’t it?
Happy anniversary. (It’s never too late to say that.)
Dom does the same thing when we’re out walking. I’ve always thought it was so very sweet.
Oh and I love that picture of the two of you.