I’ve been intentionally not spending as much time over on Instagram lately. Why? Because even though I’ve done my best to purge my feed of any accounts or posts that promote diet culture, the message that you’ll be happier if you’re fitter, thinner, occupying a smaller and/or more sculpted and lean body, and/or eating clean, healthy, and real food are ubiquitous as well as insidious. Also, because I follow running accounts and some other fitness accounts, Instagram seems to think I’ll be inspired by before and afters. That shows you what Insta knows. Very, very little despite its supposedly brilliant algorithms.
The onslaught of self-improvement messages is at an all-time high come January, and I just don’t want any part of it. I know that diets and “lifestyle” and “wellness” programs do more harm than good for the vast majority of people. I know health isn’t just about aesthetics or even how you physically feel. True health transcends the physical realm and encompasses mental health and how you feel soul-deep. Happiness, joy, and mental well-being cannot be measured in steps taken or macros. Life is more than the sum of your body parts or daily caloric intake.
I likewise know that given my eating disorder history, I’m more easily triggered by wellness posts, before and afters, and any post that suggests – however stealthily – that weight loss is the key to feeling safe, healthy, loved, and happy. Yet, very few people are completely immune to the triggers, and a lot of women end up embracing some new “lifestyle” change all under the guise of pursuing their health (when in reality what they’re really, really hoping for and care about is losing a few pounds and looking better in their swimsuit in a few months).
Now if I’m coming off as a totally-at-peace, body positivity guru, I’m not there yet. I’m not sure I’ll ever really arrive there, and that’s why I sometimes have to be hyper-vigilant about the media I consume. It’s an almost daily challenge to love and accept my body and to not be crazy around food or fear it or worry about how much or how little I’ve eaten.
It’s tough when after moving my body and doing something I love, I over-hear a lithe, younger woman talk about how she just finished another round of Whole 30 and to not be tempted to just give it a try. It can’t hurt, right? It’s about good health and eating real food, right? Nope. I’m not going to give up legumes or any food for that matter in an attempt to feel whole. I’ll take wellness over obsession, and any food plan that asks you to eliminate entire food groups rather than listening to your body and determining food choices from a place of intuition rather than judgment is only going to end up making you crazy around food or will eventually lead to rebound eating or binging. And do you really want to be that kind of example to your children? The kind of person who cycles in and out of plans that forbid this or that kind of food? An eater who only allows herself food during a certain window of time? Would you ever tell your toddler, “Sorry, sweetie, but it’s not noon yet, so you can eat anything yet”?
Instead of being lured by the many, many diet culture sirens that demonize certain food while canonizing others (what’s the opposite of clean eating? Dirty, sinful eating?) and dispirit anyone who doesn’t live up to a certain ideal whether physically or dietary-wise, I’m going to instead work to trust my body. She knows what she needs and wants. Yes, “she.” My body is a part of me. She is not an “it.” She is not an object. She embodies my soul and all that I am. She deserves care, respect, and a whole lot of compassion over restriction, punishment, and obsession. She is designed to be loved, not consumed.
I’m also going to continue to work on recognizing and lauding the unique beauty in every single person I encounter and appreciate the amazing diversity of the human race. Screw diet culture. Forget the wellness industry that makes money off your constant quest to improve yourself. They don’t want you to ever really be happy and content. The industry makes more money if your desire to keep perpetually striving, tweaking, and fixing never fades. They don’t really want their programs to work for the long-haul. They want you to come running back to them again and again, head (and not-toned-enough) skin hanging in shame because you feel like you failed another plan, diet, or fitness regime when, in reality, it failed you and her, your beautiful and good enough body. Right now, this very moment, is the perfect time – not to try another lifestyle plan or diet trend – but to accept and love your body and yourself as you are and just as God created you.