I’m excited to announce that I’ve joined the editorial team for Living Faith as a regular contributor. You can subscribe to the devotional here.
I’m sharing my reflection for May 24, 2022 below. Embracing my faith continues to be a real struggle as of late, but thankfully I’m innately a stubborn person so that means I just keep showing up. Sometimes that’s all we can do. I also have tried to focus on my actions. I know that even when my faith wavers or feels non-existent, I still believe that the way Jesus treated others and lived his life is something I would always strive to emulate whether I considered myself a Christian and went to church or not. Jesus was a radical who loved radically. I honestly wish more Christians and people in general (myself very much included) remembered that above all else and then tried to live it (and forgave themselves when they didn’t and had the gumption to try again!).
At any rate, that’s where I’m at these days. Kids are growing up. This coming school year I’ll have a high school senior AND a kindergartener. Life is crazy-hard sometimes, but also crazy-wonderful, and sometimes it’s just plain crazy. I keep telling myself I’m going to cultivate a regular habit of writing in this space, but between the glorified uber driving, the pet wrangling (we now have two dogs, a cat, a fish, a bearded dragon, and two rats), the marathon training (I’ll be running in the Chicago marathon in early October!), the youth sports spectating, the managing of what feels like a never-ending backyard and basement renovation, the grocery shopping and the audibly gasping at the price of my grocery bill these days, the daily attempt to keep our home just one slight step above a health hazard, the interminable laundry, and all the mental and emotional energy required to raise three teenage girls, a 10-year-old boy, and a 5-year-old boy, I usually just run out of time to write in this virtual journal of sorts. And I can’t decide if I want to make it more of a priority in this season of my life or not.
So after all of that rambling, here’s my Living Faith reflection:
Believe in the Lord Jesus and you and your household will be saved.
Acts 16:31
The disciples saw Jesus in the flesh, but there came a day when he returned to his Father, and they no longer could see him. Faith, at its core, is believing without any seeing. When Christ was no longer in their midst, the disciples’ faith remained.
And so does my own faith—even when it’s clouded by doubt, anxiety or fear. A life full of ups and downs and twisty curveballs has taught me that faith isn’t the same as absolute security or certainty. Nor does faith hinge upon signs and wonders. Authentic, saving faith isn’t just believing what we cannot see; it is acknowledging that what we can’t see with our eyes is still there—seen with our hearts—and is all we will ever need.
Lord, help my unbelief. Teach me to pray not for what I want but what you know I need. Open the eyes of my heart. Give me faith.