Kate Wicker

Storyteller & Speaker

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Once a Baby, Always a Baby

She’s technically not a baby anymore. She’s entered toddlerhood and is constantly running away from me, scaling furniture, and wanting to do whatever her big sister is doing. But when I look at Baby Rae (yes, we all still call her Baby Rae), all I see is my baby girl – the little one who still nurses in the wee hours of the morning, the child who calls out for her rescuer, “Mommy! Mommy!” when she gets stuck in the toy box she never stops climbing into for a fun thrill, and the one who still sees me as an all-powerful lady whose kisses and embrace can heal any hurt.

It makes no difference if there is an even smaller, needier baby growing inside of me. Rae is still my baby. Even Madeline, who turns 4 next month, is my baby.

I won’t always have to ply my kiddos with food or rock them in my arms while gently shushing their wailing. Babies don’t keep – at least not physically. Even their absolute dependency is ephemeral. But that emotional connection that first sparked the moment I discovered I was pregnant with each child, that’s permanent. Maternal love grows with children even as they outgrow their mother’s arms. I don’t speak from personal experience; really, my babies still are babies. Yet, I’m almost 30 and my own mom says she still thinks of me as her baby girl. Motherhood is one job where there’s no such thing as early retirement. Thank goodness for that.

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· October 23, 2008 · Tagged With: Motherhood · Filed Under: Photos

Comments

  1. evenshine says

    October 23, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Amen. Even when we’d like to forget that we’re still our mom’s babies, there’s still that unquenchable bond.I still call my 4-year-old daughter “baby”. And am frequently reminded by her that she’s NOT. But I am still allowed to cuddle at bedtime.

  2. krischatfield says

    October 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    I keep trying to explain this to the boys – even though none of you are “babies” anymore, you will always be MY babies. It’s mother love – you can look at the gangly pre-teen and still see the tiny child that fit into your arms or you lap.

  3. Cathy Adamkiewicz says

    October 23, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Your girls are so cute I just want to eat ’em up!
    When I see their photos I always think of my own girls…I’ve turned into one of those “old” ladies who pinch cheeks and say, “My how you’ve grown!” But as you know, both my baby girls walked down the aisle as brides this year. The time does fly; cherish every moment.

Hi, I’m Kate

I’m a wife, mom of five kids, writer, speaker, storyteller, bibliophile, runner, eating disorder survivor, and perfectionist in recovery. I'm the author of Getting Past Perfect: Finding Joy & Grace in the Messiness of Motherhood  and Weightless: Making Peace With Your Body.

I’ve tried a lot of things in my life – anorexia, bulimia, law school, teaching aerobics, extended breastfeeding, vegetarianism, trying to be perfect and failing miserably at it – and through it all I’ve been writing. And learning to embrace the messiness of life instead of covering it up, making excuses for it, or being ashamed of my brokenness or my home’s sticky counters.

Nowadays I’m striving every single, imperfect day to strike a balance between keeping it real and keeping it joyful.

 

“She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick.”

―Flannery O'Connor

Copyright © 2025 Kate Wicker · A Little Leaf Design

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