Kate Wicker

Storyteller & Speaker

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Once a Baby, Always a Baby

She’s technically not a baby anymore. She’s entered toddlerhood and is constantly running away from me, scaling furniture, and wanting to do whatever her big sister is doing. But when I look at Baby Rae (yes, we all still call her Baby Rae), all I see is my baby girl – the little one who still nurses in the wee hours of the morning, the child who calls out for her rescuer, “Mommy! Mommy!” when she gets stuck in the toy box she never stops climbing into for a fun thrill, and the one who still sees me as an all-powerful lady whose kisses and embrace can heal any hurt.

It makes no difference if there is an even smaller, needier baby growing inside of me. Rae is still my baby. Even Madeline, who turns 4 next month, is my baby.

I won’t always have to ply my kiddos with food or rock them in my arms while gently shushing their wailing. Babies don’t keep – at least not physically. Even their absolute dependency is ephemeral. But that emotional connection that first sparked the moment I discovered I was pregnant with each child, that’s permanent. Maternal love grows with children even as they outgrow their mother’s arms. I don’t speak from personal experience; really, my babies still are babies. Yet, I’m almost 30 and my own mom says she still thinks of me as her baby girl. Motherhood is one job where there’s no such thing as early retirement. Thank goodness for that.

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· October 23, 2008 · Tagged With: Motherhood · Filed Under: Photos

Comments

  1. evenshine says

    October 23, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Amen. Even when we’d like to forget that we’re still our mom’s babies, there’s still that unquenchable bond.I still call my 4-year-old daughter “baby”. And am frequently reminded by her that she’s NOT. But I am still allowed to cuddle at bedtime.

  2. krischatfield says

    October 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    I keep trying to explain this to the boys – even though none of you are “babies” anymore, you will always be MY babies. It’s mother love – you can look at the gangly pre-teen and still see the tiny child that fit into your arms or you lap.

  3. Cathy Adamkiewicz says

    October 23, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Your girls are so cute I just want to eat ’em up!
    When I see their photos I always think of my own girls…I’ve turned into one of those “old” ladies who pinch cheeks and say, “My how you’ve grown!” But as you know, both my baby girls walked down the aisle as brides this year. The time does fly; cherish every moment.

Hi, I’m Kate

 

I'm the author of two nonfiction books Getting Past Perfect and Weightless, a storyteller*, overthinker, eating disorder survivor, mom of five, book junkie, socially awkward nerd as well as a speaker (so basically a walking and talking contradiction), and a perfectionist in recovery.

I am currently working towards my MFA in Fiction at Warren Wilson. Thank you to everyone who has read my drafts, offered feedback, and cheered me on. The writing life is often solitary, but I wouldn’t be here without a community of support.

 

*Imperfect motherhood story for Rabbit Box (no children will harmed in the telling of the story and Mom had permission to share this video)

*Some BODY to Love story for Rabbit Box

 

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