I don’t know what made me wake up at just after 4 a.m. I did not hear any crying, but I climbed out of bed, though I’m not supposed to, and fumbled my way through the dark hallway. I cracked open the door to Madeline’s bedroom wide and saw Gaba cuddling close to her in the glow of the fish tank.
Then I saw my oldest baby stir and look over at me.
“Madeline, what are you doing up?”
“I don’t think she feels well,” my mom said.
I went to her side and could feel the heat radiating off her body before I even touched her.
“She says her throat hurts.”
“Oh, Honey, you have a fever.”
“How did you know to come in?” my mom asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. (A mom’s sixth sense?)
I left to get her some kids’ Tylenol. She started crying and refused to take it. I woke up Dave and he told me to get back in bed.
“But she’s my baby, too,” I said.
I followed him into her room. She reached her arms out, crying, “Mommy! Mommy!” I instinctively climbed in bed beside her.
“You need to go back to bed,” Dave said. “You don’t need to be around her when she’s sick.”
So I found a poor substitute and handed her a stuffed bear. “Here’s a Get Better Bear. Hug it when you can’t hug Mommy.” And I gently placed my hand on her burning forehead while silent tears tracked down her face.
Then I forced myself to leave.
Now, alone in bed, I’m the one trying not to cry. My smallest baby thumps from inside. I place my hand on my belly, and I can’t help but feel helpless and torn, wishing I could be there for all of my babies.
Oh sweetie, this made me cry, too. Its so hard to feel torn like that. I’m thinking of you!
I feel like you've hit rewind & landed in my last bedrest. We had this same problem, too! Poor Em was so pitiful that I just couldn't stand it. I got Marshall to bring home a big hospital mask & a little one. I got my mom to purell her up & then we cuddled for a little while. I know how hard this is for you, but you're doing great.
Oh, Kate! Just a little while longer! I know it’s so hard to not be able to be the mommy that you usually are, but right now, you’re protecting your tiniest girl, who can’t protect herself right now. Madeline will understand, even though I know it’s breaking your heart!!
My heart breaks for you, it is so tough to be a mom sometimes. Hang in there, my prayers re with you and all of your girls!
oh man, I feel your pain Kate. It is hard to see your children suffer and not be able to take the hurt away.
Many prayers for you and your daughters.
And I thought it was bad to be forbidden to pick up my little guy. :( I’m so sorry, sweetie! It’s hard to share Mommy, especially before the baby arrives.
Buck up, Buttercup! :-)
I know this must be hard (harder on you than her), but the happy thoughts are really important right now, right? Your daughters have Gabba and Daddy … so many people who love them. Even if she doesn’t feel so good right now, she is a lucky little girl!
I know this must be hard. Wish I could be there to hug you myself.
This must be very difficult for you. It makes me ache, too, when my children need me and I for some reason cannot help them. I hope she feels better soon, and you too.