Kate Wicker

Storyteller & Speaker

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Talkin’ Trash

So we’re enjoying one of those pre-bedtime evening walks I’ve been dreaming about in our new neighborhood. It’s a humid evening. I’m pushing a double stroller holding two little girls who don’t feel so little in this hilly place. I used to sprint up hills, no problem. But I find myself getting a wee bit winded as I scale a monstrous mountain of a hill. My butt is on fire. Everything is burning, actually.

Madeline is asking questions non-stop. I don’t mean to squash her perpetual wonderment but when she asks me some silly question and I don’t respond right away, she asks again. And I sigh (wheeze and pant) and answer her with a breathy response and she says, “Mommy, you need to start running again.” (We have this little game called “childhood” where I share tales from my past, and I’ve mentioned I used to be in better shape and could run great distances.)

“I…”  

GASP.

“Have…”  

GROAN.

“A leg injury.”

“Does your leg hurt now?”

PANT. “Yes.” PUFF.

“Well, if you let me out of this stroller, I bet I could run up this hill and still breathe.”

Man, if sweating like a hog and gasping for breath wasn’t bad enough, my 5-year-old starts trash talking.

So much for a relaxing, peaceful evening walk. It was more like boot camp.

To bruise my pride further, when we returned home, my husband looked at me and asked, “Did it rain?”

“No, my dear, this is called sweat.”

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· August 11, 2010 · Tagged With: Mom Humor · Filed Under: Child 1

Comments

  1. Maman A Droit says

    August 11, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    My son is too young to use his words to comment on my fitness level, but the other day he saw some rugby players running up a hill near our house and gestured that he wanted to go up the hill too. So I (silly mommy) ran up the hill once while carrying him in my arms. When we go to the top, he pointed to the bottom. I ended up doing almost as many hill repeats as the rugby players thanks to my bootcamp baby! And man was I out of breath! Oh to have the boundless energy of a baby/kid again…

  2. Colleen says

    August 12, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Ha! Every time I come home from the gym, my 2 year old refuses to kiss me because I am "too schweaty" and "disgusting". Nice, huh?!?!

    But my real question is, if your hubby was home, why didn't he join you on the walk and push that God-forsaken stroller? :)

  3. Kate Wicker @ Momopoly says

    August 12, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Well, my husband would use the fact that the baby was home asleep as a good excuse, but he's just not big on long (sweaty) evening walks. :-)

Hi, I’m Kate

 

I'm the author of two nonfiction books Getting Past Perfect and Weightless, a storyteller*, overthinker, eating disorder survivor, mom of five, book junkie, socially awkward nerd as well as a speaker (so basically a walking and talking contradiction), and a perfectionist in recovery.

I am currently working towards my MFA in Fiction at Warren Wilson. Thank you to everyone who has read my drafts, offered feedback, and cheered me on. The writing life is often solitary, but I wouldn’t be here without a community of support.

 

*Imperfect motherhood story for Rabbit Box (no children will harmed in the telling of the story and Mom had permission to share this video)

*Some BODY to Love story for Rabbit Box

 

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